


Stochastic Sex

by anon-j-anon (Anon)



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Mathematics, Physics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-12
Updated: 2009-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-21 00:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon/pseuds/anon-j-anon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk, on Spock: "Mathematicians do it in theory." Spock, in response to Kirk: "Mathematicians prove they did it." Insults and humor, delivered only as mathematicians and physicists can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stochastic Sex

Chekov, on Sulu: “Aerodynamicists do it in drag.”  
Sulu, on Chekov: “Quantum physicists can either know how fast they do it or where they do it, but not both.”

Spock, on himself: “Logicians do it by choice, consistently and completely.”  
Kirk, on Spock: “Logicians do it incompletely or inconsistently.”  
Spock, in response to Kirk: “(Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].”  
Kirk, in response to Spock: “Logicians do it with Jensen’s device.”

Kirk, on himself: “Game theorists score most often.”  
Spock, on Kirk: “Catastrophe theorists do it falling off part of a sheet.”  
Kirk, in response to Spock: “Game theorists do it with saddle points.”  
Spock, in response to Kirk: “Chaoticians do it with sensitive dependence.”  
Kirk, in response to Spock: “Game theorists do it by dominance.”

Chekov, on himself: “Physicist do it on the event horizon.”  
Spock, in response to Chekov: “Mathematicians do it homologically.”  
Chekov, in response to Spock: “Physicists do it with vectors.”  
Spock, in response to Chekov: “Mathematicians do it on smooth contours.”  
Chekov, in response to Spock: “Physicists do it at the right moments.”  
Spock, in response to Chekov: “Mathematicians do it continuously.”  
Chekov, in response to Spock: “Physicist do it with force.”  
Spock, in response to Chekov: “Mathematicians do it without limit.”  
Chekov, in response to Spock: “Physicists do it in waves.”  
Spock, in response to Chekov: “Mathematicians do it transcendentally.”  
Chekov, in response to Spock: “Particle physicists do it energetically.”  
Spock, in response to Chekov: “Mathematicians do it with primality.”  
Chekov, in response to Spock: “Astrophysicists do it with a Big Bang.”  
Spock, with the last word: “Mathematical physicists understand the theory of how to do it, but have difficulty obtaining practical results. Pure mathematicians do it rigorously.”

Kirk, on Spock: “Probabilists do it stochastically. Oh god.”  
Spock, on himself: “Topologists do it openly, in multiply connected domains.”

Spock, on himself: “Combinatorialists do it discretely.”  
Kirk, on Spock: “Combinatorialists do it as many ways they can.”  
Spock, on himself: “Number theorists do it perfectly and rationally.”  
Kirk, in response to Spock: “Number theorists do it in the critical strip.”

Spock, on Kirk: “Decision theorists do it optimally.”  
Kirk, in response to Spock: “Fuck yeah I did that optimally.”


End file.
